Here lately it seems that in the struggles of those around me the Lord is showing me myself, in past situations, more and more. For the most part it isn't a pretty sight.
There will always be two sides to every story and most of the time we are blinded to the pain of the person on the other side of our story.
People have left and ripped holes out of my heart, but did they really? The Lord began to show how we do most of the damage to ourselves when people leave. Because of the pain we feel we try to hand on for dear life. This causes more damage. We then allow our emotions to get the best of us and begin living our lives out of this hurt, all of our relationships are filtered through this hurt, and pretty soon more people have moved on. We attribute all of this to the first offender and never see ourselves as the source of the problem.
If this hits home let me assure you that I'm not writing this about you or anything going on in your life. I'm merely sharing some insight into how the Lord is dealing with me right now.
You see I got up this morning with all of the scenes running through my head of how people had hurt and wounded me. Trust me if I listed them all there would be a pile. Then the Lord began to show me how I had acted or responded. I quickly realized that my attitude had played a large part in the way people had treated me. Even in the things that were unjustified I still hadn't always passed the test with grace and mercy. I was also shown great grace and mercy in situations that I didn't deserve.
Even though looking inside myself can be quit painful at times, I am so grateful that the Father trusts me enough to lay open all of my wounds and take me into surgery with Him as He cuts out all of the damaged tissue. I'd rather be healed than walk around wounded another day.
For many years I prayed that God would allow me to forget things about my life, you know just erase it. I've learned that He does a far greater thing with those memories. He redeems them and uses them for His glory.
Oh, How I love Jesus!
Till next time.....